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Wobbly Waxing
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I am a strong advocate of what you do with your vagina is your own damn business. I am not naive or cave-dwelling to not realise that without media, and its influence on us, that most of us would all sport au naturel fannies. But we live how we live and how you choose to do your hair down there is your choice; despite what certain women spout about how it looks pre-pubescent. It doesn’t, stop shaming each other, ladies. (Men? Your view on this should be one of no view.)

Benefit logo

I have been getting my eyebrows waxed at Benefit for the best part of this year. They are local, affordable and quick. It took me a while to find my Fairy Godmother of waxing, but I did and the lovely Nikki at the Debenhams on Oxford Street is she!

Despite dutifully going every 3 weeks to get my brows looking amazing, it was only a few months ago that I plucked the courage to actually get a Hollywood. I have been shaving since the hair began to grow at 12 and it is fine and not as scary as it feels when you first take the razor to your most delicate bits.

I bit the bullet. Several times, cancelling the day before as the fear hit. Not only of being naked, not only of the pain but of being fat and naked. Well, naked waist down but that’s the bit that counts. I eventually womaned-up and due to a cancellation took an appointment following my eyebrows.

IMG_2609IMG_2612 You are led to a pretty little room with flowery wallpaper and pictures along another wall with their fab editorials. Be warned, if you don’t like pink you won’t be comfortable. That said, you won’t be comfortable anyway!

You are left to get comfortable aka struggle and fail to put on the paper knickers provided (above a UK 12? No chance. Benefit sort that out!) and use the freshness wipe before sitting down on the reclining bed.

waiting to be seen head...

waiting to be seen head…

...to foot

…to foot

Expectantly and pant-less you wait, and when the therapist comes in you are instructed to put your feet together and essentially look like a frog (after testing the wax temperature on the inside of your arm).



The reason for this post now becomes evident in that in films, or trashy telly, being waxed is a case of legs apart and expect pain. As a fattie there is that but also my belly hangs over it is not flat and my thighs and butt are large. This means having to move those things and hold them out of the way. So a slight, literal, flexibility and a realisation of this is required. It’s nothing to be embarrassed over: There’s more flesh there. There just is and to get all the hair out you will need to help your two-handed waxer. I had to hold my belly up when she did the top of the mound and my thighs/leg crease.

I chose hot wax over strips and the wax is applied, left to set and then pulled out. If you pull your skin taut, at the instruction of your new best/worst friend, at this point, it means more hair and less skin is pulled. And then you flip over – the table is as wobbly as you are, so be aware – pull your butt cheeks apart and have that yanked off. 20-30 minutes later and you are done.

YES it hurts. I won’t lie. The first time is not comparable with other times so long as you go every 3-4 weeks. If you start anew after several months it will be the same.


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